He is sleeping.
You are being a total creep and playing with the end of his detached curl; yep, detached curl. He's weird like that.
Well, you're weird for you for creepily playing with his hair while he sleeps. But in all honesty, you're bored. You're sitting on the ground in front of his face, and his face is towards yours. You're sitting close to him so you can't keep your eyes on the curl at all times. You have no idea how it can stay
detached. It freaks you out and makes you like him even more.
You blush when you think of that because you're still getting used to the idea that Lukas Bondevik is your boyfriend. You're still getting used to the fact that he completely feels the same way back, even if he has a funny way of showing it.
Truth be told, you asked him out, and he said yes, of course. You're not like one of those typical females that get so worried about friendships getting ruined or being rejected. You're assertive, dammit!
Though, honestly, most people find it weird, seeing as how Lukas is a bit
of a faerie-loving guy, but that's probably one of the biggest reasons that you like him. I mean, you think it is adorable, and you've actually tried to believe in this whole
faerie thing, and you think you sort of have it but not entirely.
However, it's fun to try. c:
Suddenly, you realize that you've zoned off, and you're now staring into the blue eyes of Lukas. He is wide-awake and probably wondering why the hell your face is four inches from his and why your finger is fiddling with his special e-zone curl. Probably. Or he can sleep with his eyes open.
You doubt the latter option.
"(N)-(name)?" he asks.
You blush, confirming that, yep, he's awake, and you back up. "Matthias let me in. But he was being weird, so I came up here."
And he stares at you.
"I'm trying to figure out your curl. It's weird."
"It feels funny. Don't touch it."
He is the one who can say that with a completely emotionless face. He sits up, and you notice this whole time you've been playing with his hair, he's been sleeping
half-naked. All he has on is boxers, and it makes you want to
Damn you, fate, for making you fall for a guy who is so absolutely delectable yet so collected. ♥
"Can I wear your barrette?" you suddenly ask, still on the ground.
He looks down at you for a second, a completely blank stare against you, and then he takes it off and hands it to you.
You're surprised. He's never let you do this in the three years that you've known him!
So, you put it on, pinning back the right side of your hair.
But he looks weird without his signature cross on.
"Why are you in my room?" he suddenly asks as he heads into his closest to find a shirt.
"Matthias let me in. But he was being weird. So I came here." Suddenly, you stand and head over to him. "I was lonely." He doesn't say anything, but he usually doesn't.
Sometimes, you wonder why he even goes out with you. The relationship you guys share is mostly you chattering away. He has never really held your hand or kissed you or held you
but you've gotten used to it, within the year. He is never bad towards you, simply
emotionless. But he is that way with everyone, isn't he?
"Hey, do you know what day it is Monday?" you suddenly ask, crawling onto his bed. He doesn't say a word as he pulls on some pants and a shirt. "Oh, I didn't think you would," you say, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.
"What day is it?" he asks, but he doesn't seem curious at all.
National Cheesecake Day, I believe." You let out a small giggle. "Better than today's. Take Your Pants For a Walk Day. Seems kinky."
He makes a sound that tells you he is listening, but you're not sure if he cares at all.
"Can I sleep here for a while?" you ask softly, suddenly feeling kind of
He makes a committal sound as he heads for the door, leaving the door open only a small fraction for the light to creep in. You listen as his bare feet hit the wooden steps as he descends into the floor below.
And you close your eyes.
Lukas loves you. Even if he has only ever told you once, which was when you first confessed to him, you're sure he still loves you. He just
he has a hard time putting his emotions on display.
When you awake, he's still not back. You sigh as you stand up, wondering why he has such a hard time
As you open the door, you see Matthias moving up the stairs drunkenly, and you immediately want to close the door again
but it's too late. He's already caught sight of you.
"(Name)!" he calls out, taking your arm. "You look very pretty (hic) today!"
"Thanks," you say, lowering your gaze.
"Hmm, you know what I always wonder?" he suddenly slurs to himself as he saunters towards his room with you in tow "Why you're still with him, eh, (name)? I've been (hic) wondering that. Doesn't seem like he loves you, eh?" And then he touches your hair affectionately. "Pretty color," he murmurs absentmindedly before he continues to his room, leaving you behind. He doesn't make it far before he drops on the floor from all the alcohol consumption.
You shake your head at him, but your mind continues to repeat his words. Sure, he's drunk
but he does have a point, doesn't he?
You're quiet on your way down the stairs. Lukas sits on the sofa next to his younger brother, Emil. They're watching something you're quite not into enough to care what it is, but you walk over, throwing your arms around Lukas's shoulders from behind and kissing his cheek.
"I'm about to go, 'kay?" You take off his Nordic cross barrette and notice it left an indention in your hair. You put it on him before kissing it and saying, "Love you, Lukas. Bye."
He glances back at you, his face as always. "Bye, (name). See you tomorrow."
With a dejected sigh, you attempt another smile before saying your adieus to the rest of his family and leaving.
It's already dark out, and it feels like it's going to rain. Just your luck.
However, you're about to step off their porch when the door opens, and when you look back, you see Lukas standing there.
"It's going to rain," he states, and he takes out an umbrella, stepping outside with you and closing the door behind him. "It's dark. I'll walk with you."
You two only make it halfway to your place when it starts pouring. Lukas opens the umbrella and pulls you next to him, holding your hand lightly so that you both can stay dry and together under the umbrella. He doesn't say much, but you enjoy the simple touch. It's very sweet.
He delivers you safely to your place, and he gently kisses your forehead before his eyes meet yours. "Goodnight, (name). I'll see you tomorrow."
You stand on your on porch, watching him go, and you're kind of surprised he kissed your forehead and held your hand. That's the most affection he's shown in a while.
You feel a little better, and you try to erase Matthias's words.
Lukas loves you. You're sure of it.
Unfortunately for you, you can't see Lukas either Saturday or Sunday. Your asshole of a boss made you work this weekend, but he kindly gave you half of Monday off, which is your birthday. So, you spend most of your time in the office, taking calls and inputting data. It's a sucky job, but the pay is acceptable.
Besides, it's only temporary. It's your summer job, and it's only here until college classes resume in the fall.
One more month and then you'll be free.
You open your door, your back hurting slightly from your poor posture when sitting in those uncomfortable, too-big office chairs. You stretch as you throw your bag on the floor and kick off your heels, taking off your blazer undoing your hair from its chignon. You lock the door after closing it before slumping on your couch.
This is something you do often after work, so you've prepared your couch with a warm blanket and a pillow, which you make yourself extra-comfy with.
There is no bliss like the bliss of coming home from work and being able to curl up into a ball in your couch and sleep.
Except then your phone rings.
You try to get out of the couch, but with the blanket wrapped around you, you only succeed in falling over the edge. Your face hits the floor, and you lay there for a while until the phone lets out another annoying ring, and then you get up, untangling yourself. You rub your right eye as you head for the phone; you're pretty sure you scratched your cornea with the carpet fibers or something.
You pick up the phone, press TALK, and place it against your ear.
"(Name)!" a sweet voice says cheerily. Tino! "Happy birthday, (name)! How old are you today?"
"Tino, thanks so much for the birthday wish! Annnd I am twenty today, actually. Your age!"
"Are you going to have a party? Do you want me to throw you a party? I'm sure that Berwald won't mind!" You just want to give this guy a hug. He's the sweetest of his Nordic family and the happiest and possibly one of your best friends in the whole world.
You laugh and shake your head, even though he can't see you. "No, thanks. I'm not much of a party person."
"Has Lukas wished you a happy birthday yet?" Tino asks all of a sudden, and your smile disappears.
"No. Actually, I don't think he even knows today is my birthday."
"Do you want me to tell him? I think he's upstairs!"
"No, that's fine. Besides, it's just a birthday."
"(Name), have you been avoiding Lukas? He's been home all weekend, and you haven't visited
Are you mad at him? Or maybe Matthias. It's Matthias, isn't it?"
"No, no. I'm not mad at anyone. I had a lot of work to do." You let out a small yawn. "Besides, why should I be mad?"
doesn't know about your birthday, and you've been going out for a year. And he doesn't do the thing typical boyfriends do, right?" You hear soft yipping in the back from Tino's cute, little dog. "You're really not mad?"
"Of course not. That's just how Lukas is. Why would I be mad at him for being himself?"
"Okay," Tino says brightly. "Well, again, happy birthday! Have a nice day, and maybe you can come over later?"
"Maybe. Bye, Tino."
You end the call and put the phone in place before crawling into your couch again, pulling your blanket around you. You close your eyes again, trying to forget about how your boyfriend barely seems interested in you at all.
There is a knocking on your door.
You're careful when getting out of the couch this time, and you don't hurt yourself. You open the door, revealing Lukas
and letting in the hot, summer air into your cool, dim home.
You're kind of surprised to see him here.
"Uh, hello," you say, and you're kind of surprised at how monotone you sound.
"(Name)," he says, and he hands you a white box.
"Um, what is this?" you ask, completely confused. He doesn't even know today is your birthday
"Cheesecake." You look up at him, even more befuddled. "Today is National Cheesecake Day."
"Oh, right," you say as you take the cheesecake into the kitchen and put it into a fridge. "Thanks."
"You don't want any?"
"No," you answer as you turn around, yawning. "Not now. I'm really tired."
You think you see concern in his eyes, but you're probably just imagining it. He pulls you towards him, his arm around your waist. "Are you okay, (name)?"
"Yes," you answer as you lower your gaze. "Just tired." However, then you think over your words and all your concerns, and you figure it is best to just come out with it. "Actually, no. I
want us to talk about something
important." You can't look at him; your face is so red from what you're about to say. You're trying to find the correct words so that you don't insult him, but you don't make him misunderstand you. "It's about us
and our relationship. I feel l"
"We should break up," Lukas says as his arm drops from its hold.
"Yes," you answer absentmindedly before the reality of his words hit you like a train. "Wait, what?"
"We should break up," he repeats, and he's already turning around. "I'm glad
we had this talk."
And he leaves you there, standing in your kitchen, and you can barely move from the shock of his words. You hear the door close, and you stand there for a few more minutes before you break down completely.
Matthias was right.
Lukas doesn't love you. Did he ever?
You spend the afternoon curled up and sobbing until your stomach aches from lack of food. You head into the kitchen and find the cheesecake box, and you start crying again as you take it out.
You're going to devour it, and you will hate it.
Okay, no, you're going to love it, but you'll pretend to hate it because it's from Lukas
When you open the lid, you're shocked to find that on the top of cheesecake are strawberries and the words "Happy Birthday, (Name)!" written in strawberry glaze.
He did remember
And then you feel even more irritated. He can't break up with you without even explaining anything! He can't leave you gifts after breaking up with you! Why did he have to wait until your birthday to dump you? What kind of person does that?
You close the cheesecake box and change into skinny jeans and a T-shirt. After throwing on some shoes, you grab your keys and rush out with the box carefully guarded in your hands. You lock the door and head for the house where the Nordics live.
It takes about twenty minutes.
You knock on the door loudly, and Emil opens the door. He seems slightly irritated that you're here, but he still asks, "What do you need, (name)?"
"I came to talk to your brother."
"Don't you think that isn't the best idea at the moment?" he question, but he moves aside, letting you through.
"(Name), maybe you should" Tino attempts, looking completely worried for the whole situation.
"'pst''rs," Sweden mumbles from his spot in the living room, telling you that your ex-boyfriend is in his room.
"(Name)!" Matthias says. "Now that you and Lukas are over, do you want to"
You completely silence him by shooting him the finger, which is the first time you've ever done that
to anyone, even him. He stares after you in surprise.
You rush upstairs, heading for Lukas's bedroom door. You try the doorknob first, but it's locked, so you then start banging on the door so that he'll open. You are going to make sure he gets a piece of your mind, and you're going to make sure he regrets your decision. You will not sit by and let him leave you without a reason! You won't
He opens the door, and you have to catch yourself before you hit his chest on accident.
He stares at you. "(Name)," he says.
That is all he says.
You lose all your determination and forget everything you were going to tell him. You glance down and see the box, and then you stuff it into his hands.
"This is yours."
"No," he answers, handing it back gently.
"No," you say with a tiny bit more force. "It's not. It's yours
because we're not together anymore. It's either this or
He stares at you for a bit more before he turns around. "The trashcan is down stairs," he answers.
Okay, this is definitely not working out well for you.
You enter his room, closing the door. You place the box down on his desk before heading towards him. He turns around to face you just as he gets to his bed. "What?" he demands.
You feel yourself shrinking into him. "I
I want to know why." A look of question crosses his face for a few seconds. "Why did you break up with me?"
He turns away. "Isn't this what you want?"
"What?" you ask. Why would he even assume that was anywhere near to what you wanted?
"Don't you want this?" he says, looking at you. You can see a hint of sadness in his blue eyes, and your heart lurches at the sight of it. "I'm not
good enough for you."
"What are you talking about? Why would you say that? You know that I love you, or do you think I'm just pretending?"
He lowers his gaze. "But
I am bad
at expressing myself," he whispers.
And then it clicks. When you said you need to talk to him about your relationship, he thought you wanted to break up with him because he thought you were mad at him for not expressing his affections. He must've overheard your conversation with Tino over the phone, assuming you were angry, and with not seeing him at all for over two days (which rarely happens) and being so distant to him when he came over earlier due to being so tired
Well, it made perfect sense.
"No, no," you coo as you stand on your toes and lightly press your lips against his. "It doesn't matter to me. I love you to death and beyond, silly."
And then you realize something else. Yes, he's not the best with expressing his emotions, but he does manage to show his feelings for you in subtle ways. From letting you use his barrette to holding your hand and kissing your forehead to spending time with you while trying to get you to communicate with faeries
And today, with the cheesecake for your birthday
It's the subtle things he did that should've clued you into his affections.
How could you not realize it before?
"Thank you," you whisper all of a sudden before throwing your arms around him. He seems confused at first, but he quickly holds you against his body tightly. "You are the absolute best, Lukas. I love you so much." You meet his eyes. "Will you take me back? I'd love more than anything to be your girlfriend again."
And then he does something that completely stunned you: he smiled. "Of course. I love you too, (name)."
And you quickly break from his hold to run to the door, opening it. "GUYS, HE SMILED AT ME!" you exclaim, and there is a sudden murmur of voices from downstairs. You quickly turn around with a grin and say, "Cheesecake?"
And then he smiles again, making your heart jump for joy. "Yes."