"Hey, (name) do you wanna play the pocky game?" Matthew whispered, opening the door to your room.
You typed away on your lap top, attempting to finish this damn essay that was due on Monday. It was only Friday evening, but you didn't want this essay to spoil your weekend. Besides, it had been raining all day, and the weekend was expected to have clear skies, so you figured that a rainy day called for finishing this up.
"Sure," you answered the blond as you continued to type away, talking about Fredo's tone.
And then you froze.
Matthew Williams just asked you to play the pocky game.
You looked up from your screen, sitting up quickly. "What's the pocky game?"
Matthew's face suddenly decided to camouflage in with his red hoodie, and you managed to pull a confused look at his expression as you tried desperately not to blush.
well, it's a game
with pocky. T-the s-sn-snack." He showed you a brand new box of pocky, not even opened yet. You nodded slowly, using your smile to show him you understood that much. "K-Kiku told me about it! I-I-I don't know much past that."
"Okay, then let's play." You stood up and headed for him. "What do we do?"
"U-uh, well, we take a pocky stick and both put it in our mouths."
"The same one?"
"Okay." You took the package from him and tore it open, pulling out a pocky stick. "What next?" you asked before you placed one end in your mouth.
"Well, we have to bite down to the center."
You nodded and leaned towards him so he could get to the other end. You tried your hardest not to grin, and then the two of you begin.
When you reached the center, a cheap thrill entered you from having Mattie's lips briefly brush yoursyes, briefly. His lips had barely touched yours when he suddenly broke away, and he turned away rapidly, nearly running to the door.
"You won! Bye!"
As soon as he left, you erupted into squeals. Even if it had only be half a second, you had just gotten a kiss from your best friend, the guy you had met at the beginning of the semester, and it was so easy to develop this crush on him
The entire semester was spent with Mattie and you nearly inseparable, save for the few classes you didn't have together and, of course, sleeping in your own dorms at night.
And better than kissing Mattie was the fact that he had instigated the pocky gamewhich meant he obviously liked you back, right?
You made up your mind quickly about telling him of your affections, and you quickly stuck your feet into rain boots and grabbed a jacket, running after to him. If he had pulled away so quickly, surely it was because he thought you didn't reciprocate his feelings, right?
Besides, you had been observing him for some time. Matthew blushed a lot but most often around you. He also seemed to stutter the most around you and smile the most around you. You had even caught him sneaking glances at you! All your friendsand even strangers (who happened to notice the quiet blonde)noted you two looked like a couple. Not to mention, Mattie's own brother, Alfred, mentioned that he wouldn't be surprised if Mattie was into you, and Alfie didn't even know of your affections for that certain Canadian.
With all that, plus the pocky game, Matthew had to be into you, right?
You figured the Canadian would probably be heading back to his dorm or to his brother's, and you rushed as fast as possible.
You didn't have to go very far. Right outside the girl's dormitories, Matthew was talking with a few of his friends. You slowed down into a walk, deciding it was best to wait them out.
It would be so embarrassing to confess in front of his friends.
"Y-you didn't tell me the g-game ended in k-kissing!" Matthew whisper-yelled at Francis and Kiku. Kiku looked unfazed, and Francis seemed kind of shock Matthew didn't connect the dots that the game would lead to kissing. I mean, it was pretty obvious
From your spot, you could already tell that his face was bright red, and you stopped, interested in the direction this conversation was going. "H-how c-could you tell me to
to p-play that with (name)?" Mattie's voice had dropped down, soft again. Well, softer than whisper-yelling. "I-I
I didn't want to k-k-kiss her."
That sentence broke your heart.
"Well, Matthieu, we zought zat you liked 'er, so we tried to help you," Francis answered him. "Love is a beautiful zing. I had to encourage it."
I don't. I don't like her, okay?" It was true what they said about eavesdropping on other's conversations about yourself; you never heard something pleasant. "So, just leave me alone. Now I have to explain to her that it was a mistake and"
"You're fine," you called out, trying to remain strong. The three boys looked up, and Matthew's face paled. "I knew what the pocky game was. Alfred taught it to me, actually." That much was true; however, no, you had never kissed the blond. You broke away before your lips had managed to touch. "I was just teasing you." You wished you had just been teasing him just like you wished this crush
wasn't so strong. "You're so innocent, Mattie. I mean, of course it was going to lead to a kiss. B-but we're just friends
so I didn't think it would matter. I'm sorry."
" Matthew whispered.
"I really am sorry. Can I make it up to you? How about pancakes? I need this break from that God-awful paper anyway!" You managed a smile, something that came natural to you. You noticed him nod, and you quickly ran up to him, grabbing his hand. "Come on! If I beg enough times, the cook will let me use the kitchen!"
He followed you, and you couldn't help but notice that his grip was weak the entire way.
Matthew couldn't seem to hold a smile. Not even pancakes smothered in syrup seemed to be able to make him happy, and he absolutely adored the ones you made.
For the first time in the semester, there was absolute silence as the both of you headed back to your dorms. You glanced over at the quiet Canadian, noticing there was nearly a yard of distance between him and you. Save for the first time he walked you to your dorm, this was the first time it happened.
Your eyes shifted back to the ground in front of you, to the wet pavement and small puddles here and there.
The first time he walked you to your dorm
You remembered it as if it was yesterday. The two of you had freshmen English, and it was the first day of school, your last class of the day. You guys had run into each other on your way out, and after the collision had caused all of your things to spill across the ground, he helped you pick it up and started walking with you seeing as how you had started a conversation. He kept his distance, yes, but he responded to your words, smiled and laughed a few times.
Before the two of you knew it, you two were in front of your dorm building, and you had energetically told him that you'd seen him later.
You had been so excited to make a new friend, especially one so cute and sweet like him. And this crush
You swear it started that day. Everything about him made you feel warm and tingly inside, made you want to dance in the rain. Your day was instantly better just by thinking of his smiling face.
And now he couldn't even bring himself to look at you.
You stopped walking, wishing it would rain so you could let these tears that were threatening to spill out. That way, if it rained, your tears would look like raindrops. That way, Matthew wouldn't have to worry.
Mattie stopped a few steps ahead.
The silence continued, and he didn't turn to you.
Then you decided to just voice your concern. "Did the kiss really bother you that much?"
He didn't respond.
"I'm sorry, Matt. I'm sorry I'm such an idiot. You were probably saving that kiss for someone special." You knew for a fact that Matthew Williams had never kissed anyone, and that was the most adorable thing. Having stolen his kiss
God, now you felt like such an asshole
! "Please forgive me, Mattie. I am so, so sorry." You reached for his shoulder, noticing how tense he was. "Matthew Williams
you know I love you. You're my best friend. Please don't give me the silent treatment."
"I-it was for s-someone special
b-but it's okay," he whispered before turning around, trying really, really hard to smile for you. There was a certain sadness in his eyes, and you weren't quite sure why it was there, but it was bothering you a lot. "I d-don't think she minds." He let out an awkward laugh.
"She?" you whispered. Today was just a big pile of suckiness. "She
Are you telling me there's someone you're interested in?" The blush on his face said it all. "Why didn't you say it before? I wouldn't tease you so much if you had told me there was someone!" In fact, the reason you teased him was because of your affections and the ones you had suspected he held back. Good to know your entire intuition was wrong. "I am sorry, Mattie. Are you sure she won't mind?"
"She doesn't like me back, so it isn't like it matters."
That was all he said before he looked up and pointed at your building. "There you are. I have to run. There's something I need to do."
And then he simply left.
You trudged back to your room, throwing yourself on your bed. The day had started out so well, so how did it end so badly?
After a semester of observing the Canadian, how could your suspicions be so wrong? And how had you missed an entire person he was interested in?
And then your subconscious held out an answer: you were selfish. You were self-centered. When you spoke to him, it was mostly about you, barely about him. Some girls were like you; they took everything their crush did and molded it into "evidence" that their crush liked them back. And you were so confident in your assumptions, always guessing things right after collecting your evidence.
You had never been more wrong in your entire life.
The night before meeting Matthew, you had spent it sobbing until you fell asleep. Your boyfriend for a year had dumped for your "best friend", confessing that he had only been with you to get closer to her, and she confessed she had never cared about you at all. You had been the first person to talk to her since she was new, and she said she had only decided to pretend to be your friend until she found new ones, but when you and your boyfriend got together, she decided to stay so she could seduce him.
Guessed it worked.
You had never realized how much of a difference Matthew Williams had made in your life. He always made you happy, and there had never been a reason to cry because of the very fact that he always made you happy. Even when your ex-best friend returned to mock you, you held strong because that sweet Canadian was by your side. You felt invincible with him, like you could do anything and live forever.
It had been four months since your last miserable day, four months and three days, and for the first time since, you found yourself sobbing until you fell asleep.
You figured the thing that would make you the happiest would be to get over the Canadianand quick. You guys would still be friends, but you would be so much happier if you didn't have a crush on him. Besides, he liked someone else, and he seemed to be in the process of getting over her too. The two of you could be happy again, go back to being friends.
The easiest way to meet a new guy? A college party. Of course, you weren't one to drink or hit up random strangers, but you figured there was a first time for everything.
Your lack of party skills was probably the reason why Matthew Williams seemed so shocked Saturday night when he walked into your room and found you in a tight dress and heels, ready to go out and
"Alfred invited me to another party! I normally say no, but I figured that this is college, and it's a new experience. I don't have to love it
or even like it
but it's experience."
why is your dress so
You blushed but smiled. "I've been single since my idiot ex dumped me, and yesterday made me realized how lonely I am. Alfred said guys like girls in short, tight dresses, so I borrowed this from a friend. I hope I look okay."
"Stunning," he answered.
And there was no hint of irony in his voice. Every bit of sincerity and awe was clear in his tone, and you shifted uncomfortably at the thought that this could excite him too.
Matthew must have noticed your painful expression because he quickly said, "Can I go? Yesterday made me realize t-the
same. I need to get over that girl."
"Sure!" you chirped before you went to grab his hand.
And then you suddenly stopped.
No contact. Absolutely no contact. Nothing even close to contact. Not even thoughts of contact.
You had to get over Mattie.
Matthew followed behind you, the distance large like last time, the silence heavy. The party was in one of the sorority houses, and you guys walked in completely unnoticed.
Now that you guys were here, you had to figure out what to do. You had never attempted to actually flirt with anyone, save for Matt
but it was Matt. You couldn't help that.
Luckily for you, you didn't have to. Apparently, some guys function through their lower area, so after a few minutes, several guys had hit on you and attempt to feel you up. You awkwardly backed up, and you soon ended in the corner with Matthew, also a failure at flirting. He handed you his jacket so you could sit on the ground and cover your legs, and you two sat there without a word as the entire world partied hard around you.
Minutes passed, and a few stolen glances here and there, plenty of stumbling people passing by, and you completely observing every inch of your hands and nailsnothing important happened. Nothing was shared.
Until you decided to exhale sharply, standing. "This is stupid. I can't believe this is what people do for fun."
"Then why did you come?" the Canadian asked you.
"Because my life is a large bowl of suck, and I'd like to pretend for a second that I am not just a nerdy girl who can't even get a guy interested in her."
"T-that's not true," he whispered as he stood.
"Name one person, Matt. I dare you." He remained silent, and you knew that was going to happen. "See. I told you. The only guy who'll give me the time of day is you, and all we are is friends." You clapped your hands together. "How fun. I'm forever alone." You reached for a table and stole someone's drink. "I am about to do something highly irresponsible, but right now, I don't really care." You took a large drink from the cup, forcing down the cup. The beer burned your throat; you weren't accustomed to any kind of alcohol. "Let's go pretend like I can dance!"
Matthew grabbed your hand, rolling his eyes, and he whispered, "Please, don't. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"I'm not that bad at dancing!"
He let out a small laugh and said, "But I don't want them to hurt you. Let's go. We can go watch Doctor Who and eat unhealthy amounts of junk food." He smiled in such a cute way that you wanted to glomp him. "Come on, best friend."
How am I ever going to get over you, Matthew? you sighed wistfully inside your head and let him lead you away.
But Matthew didn't have any plans to let you let him go. As soon as you guys had made it a safe distance, away from prying eyes, he turned around and lightly pulled you towards him, close enough to hold. His violet eyes settled on yours, and he opened his mouth, determined to change the fate of both of you.
"P-please, don't ever do that again. You know
try to s-seduce random guys."
You cracked a smile at his worry. He was reverting to his sweet, old, worrisome self. It was adorable. "I won't. I think I'm fine being forever alone
as long as you're my friend, of course."
He cringed. "D-don't
say that." You lost all ability to speak when he said that, wondering if he meant that
he didn't want to be friends anymore. "N-no! Don't
don't look so
heartbroken!" The flustered boy then fumbled with your fingers, seemingly giving himself a mental pep talk. "I don't want to be your friends, (name). N-no. I
I want to be your
I mean, I think you and I should
Well, how about you
O-oh, maple! I love you!"
You had expected that if you were right about his affectionsand if he ever confessed to youyou would start screaming, "Yes! I love you!" or something like that.
You hadn't expected to be dazed into silence.
The funny thing about a confession is that one could play out a conversation a million times within their heads, but it didn't mean it would come true or that it would happen that way. And Matt saying those words out loud was so much more powerful and it gave you more blithe than imagining it.
The imagination and the reality were so much more different, even if those three words were still the same.
Mattie seemed afraid that he had broken you, probably from disgusted shock, and he quickly let you go. His voice went off in the usual stutter he couldn't help but adopt around you. "I-I-I
I am s-so sorry! Ign-nore me!"
You started by shaking your head slowly, and your entire body was consumed by so much elation that all you could properly do (besides shake your head) is reach out and grab him by the shirt, pulling him towards you. Your lips almost missed his, but they caught the corner of his mouth, and within the second, your mouths started to work against each other's. His arms found their way around your torso, pulling you closer and closer with every second the ticked by, and he didn't stop until both of your hearts seemed to beat as one.
After a few seconds of some pretty passionate stuff, you broke the kiss for a breath of air and whispered, "You idiot. I'm in love with you too. You're the first to ever make me feel so
And then he pulled you in for round two.